I've heard it before.
From friends, family, coworkers, peers - you name it. The subtle stress at the end of the title paired with a slight sneer just screams this undefinable kinda-sorta-pseudo-disgust with my headline of choice. As if I'm blatantly making an attempt to fool you, my dear readers, into thinking I'm some 3-year-old fumbling around the kitchen. 'Cause that's obviously what I'm up to.
"You're not really a kid, you know," they tell me. "When are you going to change that?"
Who says I'm not a kid? Yeah, I'm 20. I've realized that my age no longer ends in "teen," but I'm not any more adult now than I was a month ago. The only really defined plans in my life at the moment are to complete school and have a grand old time working this summer. That's as far as it goes. I have hopes and dreams, but in the grand scheme of things, I don't know anything truly concrete about my future.
I do my own taxes. I pay bills. I buy groceries. I cook myself dinner (or not). I set my alarm in the morning and I decide how to spend my time. With age I've been granted independence and responsibility, but that doesn't make me any more grown up than anyone else. I'm learning -- we all are. Every new experience is just that: new. We're all testing the waters.
Observing actions and reactions.
Discovering consequences and rewards.
When it comes down to it, I honestly believe that there are no adults. Some people are older. Some people are wiser. Some people have more experience and some people are more qualified than others to make important decisions. It's all true, but what does it mean? You can't argue that we're all just kind of bumbling around in our lives; hoping for the best, trying to make good things happen and finding joy in discovering where our lives are taking us.
It's how I felt when I "was" a kid, and it's how I feel now.
I will never be an adult.
And I don't wanna.
Hazelnut Biscotti slightly adapted from BraveTart
I was really pleased with how these turned out and like that the recipe author didn't use butter. It's uneseccary (she explains why on her blog!) and you won't miss it at all, I promise!
Makes about 2 dozen 6" biscotti.
2 c (284 g) flour
1 1/2 c (298 g) sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 2/3 c (198 g) hazelnuts, roughly chopped
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
4 or 5 eggs, room temp
Preheat the oven to 350F. Line two baking sheets with parchment and set aside.
Combine all of the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl. Add the vanilla. Begin adding the eggs one at a time, mixing well to incorporate after each addition. After adding the fourth egg, check to see if the dough is wet enough to clump together. If so, skip the fifth egg. If not, add it.
Divide the dough in half and form a log on each sheet. Shape it so that it is the same height and width throughout, about 2 inches smaller than the desired length of the final biscotti. Bake 20 minutes until puffed, spread and firm. Cool for five minutes on a rack, then slice into 1" pieces with a serrated knife. Place slices back on the pan with one cut side up, and bake 8-10 minutes until very dry. Flip cookies and bake another 8-10 minutes. Cool completely on a rack and store in an airtight container at room temp.