Sunday, October 16

Crumble - {Chocolate Stout Cupcakes}

It feels heavy between my nervous white knuckles, this too-new pie tin, piled high with fruit and a mountain of pressed oats, almonds, flour, sugar and butter. Under cover, the berries mingle with a few gentle squeezes of lemon juice and a sprinkling of thin, stringy zest for a tart zip. A pinch of salt eases the sweetness and a few drops from a bottle of almond extract lace the dish with just a little bit of uniqueness.


The ingredients are simple, but the message is not.

I made the crumble while on the bad side of a childish argument with a friend. The fight involved yelling and tears, ultimately ending with a deafening mid-sentence click from the other line. I held the stunned silent receiver in my hand, questioning the worth of the relationship.

I made the crumble before the resolution, hopeful that a well-placed apology would warrant a visit to my friend’s place. I had visions of him opening the door to find me on the porch, crumble in hand, and just smiling; relieved, I would hope, that things could be so easily fixed.

I baked it to solidify my emotions and my feelings into something tangible. I wanted to present it to him and show him that I cared that much. That he meant that much.

And so I did. The apology was placed and accepted. The delivery was received, the smiles were shared and the crumble was divided.

It should have, by my own calculations, been “right” at that point. But it didn’t feel that way.

I had thrown everything that I had into the friendship, but it wasn’t enough. There was a lingering guilt in the air; an unforgivable hurt on either side that carved hallowed and pained faces on each of us. He had asked too much of me, selfishly considering my unwillingness to fall as a sign of disrespect and indifference. And I, selfish in my own ways, refused to change my mind.

Trying to fix the friendship wouldn’t help because we had different ideas of what “fixing it” even meant. To salvage or to heat up were our only options, and neither seemed mutually attractive to both parties.


I sat at his kitchen table with a smile painted on my face, fearful for the days ahead.

Things had changed, we realized, and both of us knew that it was finally time for it all to crumble.

Which, in the end, was the best thing that could have happened.

Chocolate Stout Cupcakes adapted from Chow
I made these for my brother and was surprised at how much I liked them! This is a wonderful recipe.

Printable Recipe

2 1/2 c (313 g) flour
2 c (400 g) sugar
3/4 c (64 g) cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 (11.2-ounce) bottle Guinness stout
1/2 c (118 ml) milk
1/2 c (118 ml) vegetable oil
1 Tbsp vanilla
3 eggs, room temp
3/4 c (177 g) sour cream

Preheat the oven to 350F and line two muffin tins with liners. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, combine the Guinness, milk, vegetable oil and vanilla. Add the eggs, one at a time, whisking until completely incorporated. Mix in the sour cream.

Add 1/3 of the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and fold to combine. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet, folding to combine. Divide into the prepared tins.

Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the muffins comes out clean. Set pans on a wire rack to cool completely before removing the cupcakes from the tins.

Simple Bailey's Buttercream

1 c (227 g) unsalted butter, room temp
1/2 cup (95 g) shortening
1 Tbsp vanilla
1 1/2 lbs (6 cups or 678 g) confectioner’s sugar
About 4 Tbsp Bailey's Irish Cream, mint or other flavor

Cream together the butter and shortening until lightened, about 3 minutes. Add the vanilla and beat to combine. Add the powdered sugar in about 1 cup additions and beat well before adding the next portion. After all the sugar has been incorporated, begin adding the Bailey's, on tablespoon at a time, until you reach your desired consistency.

12 comments:

  1. Hey Kaitlin.

    When it comes to friendships, I guess everybody has had their share of problems. I've lost friends too. It's always sad, because with some people, things will never be the same again and you can never be good friends the way you used to be, ever again. With some, though, things get better and you turn out liking and understanding each other even more. So I guess whatever happens, happens for good reasons. It takes time to see what's good though.

    The cakes look lovely, as usual! I love how the frosting contrasts well with the cake and chocolate chip on top. Thank you for sharing all these lovely photos, recipes and stories with us. Chin up!

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  2. If only people could be a bit more empathetic and telepathic, and try to understand where others are coming from (when conflicts start), I think a lot of the scaling up of arguments could be diminished or avoided. But it's so damn hard, I know.

    I confused myself trying to imagine if there was a crumble hidden inside these cupcakes. Nopers. Different recipe. I'm with ya now;)

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  3. I've been following this blog for some time and have enjoyed several of the recipes as well as the included commentary, but not until today has your writing resonated so strongly that I felt compelled to comment.... I too have just gone through a similar situation and I have found myself at a crossroad and feeling terribly guilty that I can't conform my ideas for the sake of a friendship that has spanned over half my life.... it's a comfort (as well as a healthy dose of reality) to know that these things happen despite or best efforts and intentions.... thanks for reminding me I'm still human after all .... on a side note, I'm very excited to try these cupcakes!!

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  4. i always feel that its the closest and dearest of friends that i am able to have arguments with. Because i know after the argument, we are still going to be close friends

    feel better soon!

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  5. went through a similar situation with my ex. that is why he is my ex now. but we are still 'friends'. good luck and i hope with time things turn out for the best.

    i tried a chocolate stout recipe from epicurious but it didn't turn out right. hopefully this recipe will satisfy my cravings for a good chocolate stout cake!

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  6. Perhaps you knew that the friendship was coming to an end when you baked him the crumble... quite a foreshadowing name.

    I have a theory that friends need to be re-assessed every 7 years. You grow. Life changes. Families grow. Needs change. It is a rare case - and a great friend - that lasts past 7 years with the same intensity as it started.

    Hang in there.

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  7. its always easy to forgive, but its so much harder to forget as long as we don't feel completely understood

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  8. I am so thankful for the responses I've received on this post and happy to know that you guys understand what I'm going through. You're the best!

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  9. Never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted. However, I'm sure there's another side to this story ;)

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  10. Hi Kaitlin, nice recipe..
    the cupcake looks delicious..
    i have 2 questions:
    how many mililiter or grams are the Guinness
    and how if i cant find Bailey's Irish Cream, mint or other flavor?
    can i replace it with something else..
    sorry if my english not perfect.. thanks :)

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Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts!

If you have any questions, please feel free to email them to me at kaitlin@whisk-kid.com.

Have a great day!